Performance Art

     My youngest is taking piano lessons this year and I anticipate he will have to participate in some kind of recital or performance during the year.  I have full confidence that his teacher will be able to prepare him and pull the talent from his fingertips.  I'm sure it will be a magical night with tears and applause, as Cooper's performances usually are.  You see this is not our first rodeo.
     At our Elementary school all kids in grades 1-3 take music class.  In this class the kids are educated in music and musical instruments and at at least one point during the year, they are asked to perform a musical number.  They can really do whatever they like as long as they express themselves musically. Each of my kids has had the opportunity to perform in this setting.  But I'd like to share the crowning moment of all music class performances from our family.
     It happened last year when Cooper was in 3rd grade.  One night Cooper was busy working on a  Coat of Arms for class. "I have to make this for my class and share it with everyone tomorrow,"he said.  He then added, "Oh yeah, can you come to class when I present it?'  I always try to make time for things at my kids' schools, so I told him I'd really try to make it work.   As we helped him fill in the information on his Coat of Arms,  I mentioned to Coop that it was plain and  kind of sloppy.  "Doesn't it need to be colored," I asked?  He assured me it was no big deal.  He went to bed I made a mental note to be at his school the next day.
   When I showed up to an empty classroom the next morning, I went looking and found his Core teacher. I asked where Cooper was because I needed to see him share his assignment.  She said the students were all in the music room.  "Music room?" I thought to myself.  "Well that's funny. Why would he share his Coat of Arms in the Music room?"  And I hoofed it down the hall to the music room.  I found Cooper sitting at the front of the class with about 5 other children and their mothers.  I hurried and took the seat next to Cooper at the front of the room facing the teacher and about 25 other kids.  The teacher thanked us all for being there and pointed to 2 little girls next to us to go ahead and share their work.
     When the first little girl shared her Coat of Arms, I noticed it was bright and colorful and creative.  It was not the penciled in, rough draft that Cooper's was.  She shared about her family and her favorite things and it was great.  As she took her seat, the next little girl got up.  Hers was adorable with pastel drawings and was neat and tidy.  I actually wondered how much of the assignment she did and how much her mother did.  Thinking Cooper was next, I started to prompt him to get up, but he said no, that the girls were going to do their performance.  Whaaaaatttt???  Sure enough, these two little girls got up and walked to the other side of the room, picked up two microphones and started singing a duet.
     You know in The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke is dueling with Darth Vader and in the heat of the moment Darth Vader proclaims "Luke, I am your father." and the world as we know it flipped upside down?  Well, watching these two girls pick up the microphones and start singing their hearts out was very similar to that moment for me. I leaned over to Cooper and whispered, "You aren't doing a performance are you?" and he said "Yep, I'm singing a song.  Me and Cooper C made it up."  (My Cooper has a best friend, also named Cooper.  We call him Cooper C.)  Oh noooooo!!
     I didn't know it was possible to have so many different emotions at the same time.  Fear, pride, embarrassment, joy, panic.  Mostly panic.  Keep in mind, Cooper is next in line and only has until these two 3rd grade divas finish their karaoke routine.  So I start to frantically whisper in Cooper's ear, "Why don't you just sing one of the Primary songs you know?"  He says, "No, Cooper and I made up a song and we've been practicing."  That's when I asked the one question I kinda wish I never asked, "What is it called?"  He said, "It's called 'I Smack You In The Face!'"
   Well, who would have seen that coming?  Horrified at the name of the song and remembering all the Anti-bullying campaigns the school has had, I plead in my frantic whisper for Cooper to sing a song from the Church program last fall, but to no avail.  He won't change it.  Apparently they've been practicing it all week.  Who knew?  Not me!!  All my pleading goes ignored and Barbra and Judy are done with their song.  Now is the moment of truth.  Cooper stands up and presents his pencil sketch Coat of Arms.  The content is there, and that's what is important.  The teacher gives me a sympathetic look as if to say,  " You were probably too busy to help," and tells him it's great.  Then asks him if he's ready to do his performance.  I put on my best "I'm a proud mother" grin and squirm in my chair while I watch Cooper walk to the other side of the room to debut his original musical number.  Here's how it went:
    It begins with the two Coopers standing to face one another.  Cooper H sings the words "Hey Cooper, what are you doing?" to which Cooper C shouts, "I SMACK YOU IN THE FACE!". This exchange is repeated with Cooper H singing another line, and Cooper C shouting back at him, "I SMACK YOU IN THE FACE"!   And this is when things go blank for me.  Time slows down as I look around the room.  The kids are already laughing and having the time of their lives.  The other mothers are watching with polite smiles, glancing at me out of the corner of their eyes, and I'm trying to be there for Coop and disappear at the same time.  And then, I catch eyes with his Core Teacher, and she's smiling at me.  Not an embarrassed smile, or courteous smile, but an honest--"Can you believe this is actually happening?" smile.  And at this moment, I smile back and realize it's OK.  That sometimes kids want to express themselves, and come up with ridiculous, slightly inappropriate, loud songs and I should be proud that he is confident enough to do it.  
     So I sit back just try to enjoy the ride.  The kids are laughing so loud that I can't hear the words that Cooper H is singing in between Cooper C shouting "I SMACK YOU IN THE FACE!"  This exchange happens about 10 times before the song comes to an end.  The Coopers take a deep bow and return to their seats amid the cheers of their fellow students.  The other mothers are horrified, the music teacher is polite and complimentary, and his Core teacher has her hands over her mouth to hide her laughter. And, it all happened so fast that I didn't record it.  The shock of it all rendered me paralyzed and it will go down in Hutchins' history unrecorded.
     The rest of the performances were white toast compared to Cooper's.  But I will give kudos to the little boy who made his own musical instrument out of rubber bands and a paper towel roll and then proceeded to play a song on it.  Way to be industrious!  And every time I need a little pick me up I think back to the two Coopers yelling  "I SMACK YOU IN THE FACE!"  and giggle.  It was a fine moment of performance art and excellent parenting!  If you'd like tickets to Cooper's next performance, just let me know.